Change From the Inside Out

The part of my weight loss story that I don’t usually talk about is that it was not all my diet.

dancer

Most of my physical transformation came from within, and there were three key things that contributed to it. The first one was that I saw myself as worthy through someone else’s eyes. The second was that I decided I no longer wanted to let a “sweet tooth” control me. The third change was that I found a passion for dance. So after following Weight Watchers for several years, but still struggling with wanting to eat at times when I was not actually hungry, these three things coalesced to allow me to switch from the diet mindset into a healthy living mindset.

Today I want to explain the role dancing had. It was more than just exercise in this case. In college and graduate school I had taken a few ballet classes and enjoyed them but I wasn’t passionate abut them. After I had kids I restarted dancing -by going pole dancing. In my kids coop preschool there was a rumor that there was such a thing as pole dancing for exercise. Discussing this in hushed voices while the kids played and were hopefully not listening, one of the moms gave us the inside scoop. She had gone to a party, worn stilettos, dances around a pole and after a drink she felt she could do this.

Something inside me whispered -do that… But where? How would I find a party like that? and what would my friends think of me? And then the city recreation guide came in the mail. With a pole dancing class. Well, I thought, if it is in the Parks and Rec guide, I can surely do that. So I signed up…

I arrived at the first class, held in a curtained room behind a respectable pilates studio, with other women like me. Not particularly fit, middle aged, regular women, mothers of small children and teenager. In that class I felt my body come to life through the movement. I felt that my imperfect flabby unfit body could move and entice me. I was incredibly sore the next day because pole dancing really is gymnastics for grown ups but my body felt alive! My libido felt alive. There, I said it. I felt sexy all over after dancing to sultry music for an hour.

Week after week we would scurry into the curtained room and learn moves with names like “The betty up” and “fireman”. We learned to climb, and twirl and move in ways that were both sexy and pretty while extremely challenging. After several months it was decided that we would have a small performance for our friends. That performance brought out a new part of myself I didn’t know existed.

When I walked out on stage, with my short shorts, bare flabby midriff, and sparkly hat on I thought I was going to throw up. But somewhere inside I felt the courage rise and a voice telling me “They’re not out here doing it, you are! Show them what you are made of!” And I did, I made eye contact, I enticed, I bodywaved, betty booped, rolled my hips and did the bend and snap and it felt great.

I continued pole dancing for a long time after that, doing more performances even at a local restaurant in town. I started ballroom dancing and then salsa dancing. I joined a performance group and dance salsa still. There are still many tricks in pole dancing that I feel I cannot do and I wish I had time to pursue it more but in the mean time I keep dancing. I know that I will always dance in some way. This is what connects my spirit to my body.

When I have clients who want to lose weight to feel healthier or have more energy or even to have more confidence in their appearance, I want to help them do that. And of course part of it is changing your behavior around food. But part of it, a big part, is committing to changing from the inside.

If you are interested in finding out how we can work together to create your life with vitality and purpose, send me a note at jacqueline(at)transformingshape dot com, or book a free discovery session with me.

Posted in Creativity, Health, Self acceptance, self care and tagged , , , , .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *